I Know This Place!

Twice this morning, I found a better route (the first, significantly shorter, the second, avoiding a big hill and a busy intersection – two things that are important when you’re on a bicycle in the summertime in Durham, North Carolina). I was able to navigate around these obstacles because I’ve been in Durham so long.

While I would never call myself a native, I’ve been here long enough to know how to get places both faster and safer.

The same thing happens with relationships. You can have a deeper, richer conversation when you know where the “good stuff” is and know how to navigators the dangers. This isn’t always true in every relationship, and especially in your 20s, part of the adventure is discovering new things and new people, but the flip-side is also a true: longevity opens opportunities that you don’t always get to experience while you are skipping around. Stated more positively: don't worry if you have been in the same place for a while or if things seem to be going slowly. If you are relating well, you can trust that you are building the respect and knowledge you will need when the time comes to dig a little deeper.

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